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More Things to Do Instead of Driving

 6: Drink "Mocktails". Ya I know, you'll be called a little girly man or a whiney, yellow-bellied pansy, but you'll be laughing on the inside. Of course they'll be laughing on the outide, probably loudly.

7: Get the trailer you're partying at towed to your house. Special Note: This is usually only a solution that works in Arkansas or Kentucky.

8: Take the bus. Contrary to popular belief, bus drivers absolutely LOVE drunk people on their routes.

9: Pick up a girl or guy (me! me!) and get a ride back to THEIR place where you can further discuss the socioeconomic structure of early Mesopotamia. Either that or you can get jiggy. Your choice.

10: Call your mom. This is the tried and true last resort. However, expect to be doing the dishes far into the immediate future. Try the other nine things first.

If You're Driven to Drink:
Don't Drink and Drive

Even though we at the Beer Society are doing our utmost to tackle a serious issue using a light hearted approach, the fact of the matter is that life is short, so don't waste it on a stupid decision. Those of you who constantly make the wrong one are probably telling yourselves that, "nothing will ever happen to me," or "I drive better when I'm wasted." Well listen up dumb asses, stats don't lie (most of the time), eventually you will be either caught in a roadblock, killed in an accident, or charged with killing someone else. Sure, you've made it home safe so far, but trust me, something will happen sooner or later.


If this is the messed up state that your car is in, imagine the messed up state you are in. If you still choose to drive, then odds are you've got more beers in you then brain cells. 		The decision to not drink and drive is usually not the easiest or most efficient one to make. Often, it takes the help of a friend to help you make the right choice. For example, take a look at what happened one night when Jonathan was too hammered to drive (or at least he looks that way).
Right: Craig saves the day, he knows Jonathan couldn't drive a sharp stick through a snowbank.

Below: Sometimes people think they can still drive, good thing Craig was there. Jon, it seems, did not agree, but he will when he sobers up. Piss tank.

Have we drilled home the point yet? We hope so. Alcohol is a great way to relax with a group of friends, or party it up silly with a bunch of strangers. For whatever you reason you decide to get sloshed, wasted, blitzed, hammered, gunned, bombed, pissed, annihilated, wrecked, cut, inebriated, smashed or tanked, remember to drink responsibly and find a way home without driving. Don't just take our advice, take Dr. Evil and his son Scott's too. Don't make us say "I told you so!"

Having not polluted his mind with Blondissma, Craig is sober and will drive the car. Jonathan agrees!

I hope you've enjoyed our little message about drinking and driving. Now go and look at our reviews!
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