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A Society Member's Average Day

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club. Finish 5 under par.
12:10 Blowjob.
2:15 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas.
2:30 Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing Excursion with topless female crew.
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked Kathy Ireland.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and a Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi. Go to bed.
11:45 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart.
11:50 Watch the dog leave the room.
11:55 Laugh yourself to sleep.

The Beer Society rates Pilsner!

The Initiation: Lets Go Humiliate Ourselves!

7-11 here we come! This is by far the best part of the whole initiation process, at least for those who are not looking like freaks at the time. After all the other duties have been performed, we made a trip to 7-11 to get some prime photo shots. Here we met Jeet, the wonderful late-night employee who has probably seen much worse than this. So have we, I mean you should see these girls without makeup! (just joking ladies, please don't hurt me! PLEASE!)

Above: This is the money picture. Welcome to the Beer Society ladies!

Left: At first Jeet thought it was a hold up, but she soon discovered that Gena didn't bite.....hard.

Some Final Thoughts

As usual, the Beer Society meeting turned out better than expected. Beer was consumed, makeup was applied, and people were publicly humiliated. YES! Christine, Gena and Janis are now the first three official members, next to Jon and Craig. Next week, we plan to initiate at least five more, we have to because there are so many people clamoring to get in the Society that we're not sure we can hold them back. Perhaps we will have to make the initiation routine a little harder....

As for the Pilsner, well what can we say? We didn't like it that much. The taste was a little too pronounced, which also affected kill and the drinkability. For those of you who have not seen the label or at least looked at it closely, let us just say that it is not the most politically correct scene in the world. There is also a very annoying rabbit in the middle of the label, for no apparent purpose. We may be anal, but that kind of thing really bugs us. Besides, just ask the SPCA, beer and small woodland creatures don't mix. Some of you, we're sure, have found that out the hard way (whatever that means?!?). Overall, the beer wasn't too bad, but we will probably never buy it again as there are much better brews out there.

Closing Shots: Just to be Fair...

No, I do not enjoy wearing women's undergarmets, watching figure skating or planning trips to San Francisco, I just got coaxed into being a Revlon model wannabe while I was fairly inebriated. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Next Review: Corona Extra


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